| Mind Fuck |
[Sep. 29th, 2004|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sea of Sin (Blue Enya Mix) | ] |
As some of you out there already know, I'm staying in the ghost house called Allyn this semester...
Over the last few nights I've been having really disturbing dreams. One involved me having sex with someone I'm completely ambivalent towards, the next one involved one of my worst enemies trying to hit on me...
The worst one was me dreaming about the ghost in allyn touching me all over in my dream. It was this weird pressure throughout my being and I couldn't move. It was if I was completely disconnected from my body but was still aware of the sensation. When I woke right after, I heard weird chattering noises and footsteps surrounding me. Before the weird sensation experience, I had a dream that I failed Drawing I for attendance. So maybe the little wraith was trying to tell me something...
I was mentally raped! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2004|12:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Pretty Girls Make Graves" by The Smiths | ] |
night of wenesday, november 5, 2003
Really strange stuff this time around. I remember being in a basement with my brother. I was sitting at the keyboard about to play it, while he adjusted the stand very low for me. What can I say? I'm a short one, that's for sure. It made it easier for me to play while I sat on the lazy boy anyway.
Before that, I specifically remember going around in a mini speed boat in a small pond with Liz (who used to live in the quad down the hall, now it's almost empty). She was driving it. I can't remember who else was with us. She kept bumping into the barriers surrounding the small body of water. Errrrmmm...these barriers were the sunken wall of a castle. We were basically boating around in a sunken castle that filled nearly to the brim with dark water. There were also these freaky spikey buoy things floating around in the water. I seriously plan on drawing a picture of this sometime, perhaps as yet another summer time project.
As much as I should've been frightened out of my skin, it nonetheless felt like I was on some trippy amusement park ride or something.
The next part of the dream involved people from the dorm. The small building that housed only 40 students looked completely different than usual, being much more dark and rank in smell. This kid named Tony from the third floor complained about some curly head kid eating his fruit cup. And for some strange reason, one of the girls from the quad was having it out (yeah, in THAT way) with my Mike the stoner from upstairs. Y-U-C-K. I couldn't make out the unknown girls identity. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why anyone from the dorm was in my dream...I usual dream about things/people I've never seen before. |
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| wolf |
[Apr. 25th, 2004|05:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "I Need Some Action" by Buju Batton | ] |
early saturday morning, 25 of october, 2003
This dream involved my presence in a house that looked like my old home from 10 years ago, only it was 3 stories high. There was a wolf outside and I was spying on him from the window, because my siblings and I were locked inside of one of the 3rd floor bedrooms. I was garnering up the courage to climb out the window for some strange reason. Then I started nagging about my hellion little brethren being quiet because the wolf could hear us, and then I realized he smelled us before he heard us.
It turned out, to our collective fortunes, that my mother actually picked up a wolf/husky hybrid canine from the animal shelter. He was a bit scared and jittery when my mom came back home and brought him into the house. I figured she tied him up outside without our knowing, since she's such a ditz. Regardless of his initial fear, he allowed us all to pet him gingerly after a little food and prodding. It sure surprised the hell out of me; I was deathly afraid of him. He'd probably eat fawns my size if he was out in the wild, where he BELONGED. The poor guy was abused, and mother had given this fact as the reason for picking him up out of the blue. I suppose the dangers of inviting a weathered and broken wolf into a home containig four defenseless children that had never crossed her mind. Brilliant ma, as always.
All claws and fangs aside, his fur displayed a enchanting array of white, gray, and silver colours. He proved to be quite harmless, and the last part I recollect about this particular dream are the feelings of relief and later neutrality towards the beast. This is wholly backwards and not a little ironic, since one of my greatest fears is being eaten by some random feral, lupine, or otherwise carnivorous creature, the undead certainly included. I keep have recurring dreams where I am eaten by some toothy monster who craves my flesh immemsely. Uuurggh. *shudders*
Maybe I was thrown to the beasts and dined upon in a previous lifetime. Or maybe I should steer clear of predatory people? |
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| dead dogs and aeroplanes |
[Apr. 24th, 2004|07:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "The Egg and I" from Cowboy Bebop | ] |
early afternoon saturday, october 10, 2003
I remember finding a cute little dog, a terrier, I think, and he follows me around school. I motion to him to lay low while we sneak down some steps. Then he changes into type of lab mix, being really skinny and odd colored. I leave him out while I go in, if I remember correctly. When I get outside, I hear two men driving a truck talking about some dog being a mess. I look around and somehow there’s my little dog, back to his original terrier form, only now he’s a mangled black mess of blood and guts. His body is distorted, misshapen and torn. I assume that he was deformed and changed fur color in the last five minutes that I was gone, or hit by the truck. I think to myself, “How could I let this happen?!” End.
I am in a choir room with some people and they talk about trying out for a talent show or a play. Some director guy asks me if I can sight-read or read lines.
Somehow I get bitten by either a really ugly bum, or a medium ugly ghoul on my hand. I play some 2-dimensional side-scrolling game against someone but I keep falling off the platforms. The title screen looks like some superheroes knockoff game, but I’m controlling a dog character with a Robin-type mask over his eyes... What?!
My sister, my brother, and myself are defending our attic hideout from what appears to be a rabid, dark-haired, pale skinned boy who is homeless, looks like a zombie, or some monster. He/It tries to come up form the doors in the floor, but we ferociously beat him with our broom sticks. I’ve jabbed him in the eye at least twice, and he’s starting to look a bit bloody after a while but he still keeps coming! Hmmm...
I am controlling airplane flying in the third-person perspective, reminiscent of that which is used in video games. It tries to land down near a gas station or some type of complex with big horizontal oil tanks and oil trucks. There are pine trees nearby. Only thing is, it’s a desert landscape, but there isn’t a cactus in sight. Oh well. I keep trying to slow down the plane, but it won’t stop . I am jolted for the dream sequence and my cousin Demareo is flying a remote-controlled battery operated airplane. He shows me how to land it “properly.” What I thought to be the sky a few moments earlier was now just a blue ceiling with a cloud design painted over it. “How do I get into the stratosphere?” , I ask. I take the remote control and in right in the middle of this room, I hold the little trigger-thingy up but the mini-plane won’t go up past the clouds…yes, I am in a living room with full atmosphere, apparently. My cousin takes the helm. “Just speed up at the same time you push up.” He breaks through clouds, zips the plane around in a loop, and then lands the thing at his feet. Did I mention that the ceiling/sky is only 8 feet in height? By this time, I am walking away in amazement and frustration. |
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| confusion |
[Apr. 24th, 2004|07:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Memory" from Cowboy Bebop | ] |
early morning, august 25, 2003
Of course, I haven’t written anything down in over a month, but this early morning I had some crazy stuff running around through my head. I shall proceed with a quick summation because to tell you the truth, it’s all I can remember:
1. Girls flirting with boys.
2. Some guy playing keyboard onstage during a Roots concert who was left-handed.
3. I had an overhead, sort of omniscint view of a house (belonging to someone I seemed to know intimately)_ that was flooded, then all of a sudden upon closer inspection it was actually a doll house or some sort of miniature play-home.
4. What the fuck?!
Bear with me. A lot--no, MOST, of these entries will make little to no sense whatsoever. I have no idea how any of these sequences correlate; none of them seem to have any relevant connections. |
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| killer clowns and blood thirsty ogres |
[Apr. 24th, 2004|06:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Flies on the Windscreen" by Depeche Mode | ] |
thursday, august 28, 2003
**or early morning friday
I think that dreams are perhaps connected to the realm beyond the physical, that which belongs to the spirit world. It's as if our (minds) souls are trying to speak to us indirectly. Now, I haven't the slightest care how hokey or otherwise incredulous this sounds to anyone who happens to be nosey enough to read this. So raspberries to all the skeptics. It's just a theory. And now I shall digress.
On with the details of last night’s dream. I can’t remember exactly how the events are ordered chronologically, but the two of them I can recall somewhat more vividly then the others.
1. I am floating over a huge black body of water at night with wooden structures floating on top of its surface. As I jump on each floating piece of wood like a frog, I encounter a group of little clown dolls bobbing up and down in the dark, deep water. I quickly find out that the aren’t dolls at all; they are quite real and the show me their malevolence viciously and attack my legs, biting with razor sharp teeth. They possess faces of a awfully sickening, deathly white pallor, with wild red hair, and eyes the color of blood. I forget what they are wearing, but I am sure it will comeback to me.
I rip them off, legs bleeding, and toss the nipping little bastards back into the writhing abyss posing as water. This does not seem to please them one bit ,as they break into a hissing frenzy. So to emphasize my relative displeasure with the attitudes of the miniature ingrates, I take a wooden board that I spy drifting along in the water and slam it down on the group of swimming killer clown dolls. I find that with every attempt I make at bludgeoning and drowning the smiling sons of bitches in this way, they turn into red pop cans. So I quickly crush them all to death. End of dream.
Note: Perhaps I was really fighting Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper cans that just seemed like little killer clowns all along?
2. I had dreamt that I watched 3 or 4 girls get into a brawl in a lava filled cavern littered with stone platforms with ogres and goblins suited in armor. It was a like some screenshot of some dark, medieval RPG or some warped Lord of the Rings-type film. One of the baddies is wielding a HUMUNGOUS morning star. He is bald, hulking, and has a bit of a, mmmm, devilish expression on his face, to say the least...creepy. I watch in horror as the girls try to escape as the monsters run toward them at full speed.
On brave girl decides to tango with the monster swinging the gargantuan weapon with a reach of at least fifteen feet. Stooopid. It’s definitely her last dance. He swings. She barely dodges. She attacks him with a flourished swipe of her sword. Said monster does not like this. Did I mention the guy is a giant?
She has black hair, and I’m guessing she’s Asian or Latino . Dark skin; maybe Southeast Asian. I can’t really remember her facial features, though. She’ s the persistent sort in trying to fight him, and somewhat holds her own. The other three girls are captured, each suffering her own horrible fate. One for sure escapes, but another unfortunate lass, biracial it appears, with really curly, thick, black hair tied into a ponytail is raped and slaughtered. Shudders. I believe the third is simply killed. As for the aforementioned brave girl who keeps fighting with giant...It’s getting really fuzzy! |
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| introduction |
[Apr. 24th, 2004|06:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "New Dress" by Depeche Mode | ] |
I began this endeavor when I was discussing these queer floating visions in my head with one of my older cousins. He, along with my aunt, gave me this piece about the artist’s creative mind and visualizations. He suggested I draw what I see in my dreams or whatever I see in my visions (these often happen when I am wide awake). So I decided to make recordings of whenever I have distrbing, interesting, or otherwise confounding dreams. They frighten me sometimes, but I have to admit they are quite the intriguing nightmares. I guess I could create art with the visuals I get out of them, no matter how disturbing. |
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